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Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 07:19 am Liquor and a Lighter...
Mood: annoyedI fell asleep next to a liar..
Tunes: Brand New : Sudden Death In Carolina
Okay. So the tide subsides.

Kill me quick.

I now live my life by the bottom of the bottle. That and concerts. Party party. *twirls finger*

"Call 911. I'm already dead, but someone should be caught
and held responsible for this bloody mess."

boredom compels me...

(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) been arrested
(x) done drugs
(x) had alcohol
(x) laughed and had water come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) made out in an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
( ) kicked a guy where it hurts
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
(x) broken a bone
(x) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) flashed someone
(x) saw a therapist
(x) done the splits
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
(x) had an iv
(x) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(x) stole something from your job
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
(x) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar (bathroom)
(x) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
(x) Been moshing at a rock show
( ) Been to a motor cross show
( ) lost a child
( ) gone to college
( ) graduated college
(x) done hard drugs
(x) tried killing yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
About this Entry
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)

i know its not my place...

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i shouldn't be commenting. i know, i know.

"I now live my life by the bottom of the bottle"

but that worries me. i still care about you. i want you to be okay, to be happy, healthy, safe...the things you and i both know i'm not. i'm being a hypocrite, we both know that too...but still...i'm worried about you.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:04 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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the bottom of a bottle is whats keeping me alive right now. and im nowhere near okay. lisa, i want you to understand that i dont hate you. but youve ogtta listen. if you dont want me to touch your life in any way, you cant touch mine. you cant pull a saw back and forth. "Her voice like a paintbrush, her eyes used to glow green, fall out, of hatred, a flash photography scene..."
sorry. random burst. its just song lyrics. they arent supposed to mean anything here. i just had them in my head. well...i guess ive said all i have to say. and beleive it or not, im at least worried about your health and well being. look out for yourself okay? .............
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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screw my health and well being. i'm sorry if i'm only hurting you more by doing things like this, commenting and notes on da and the like. i just can't help it when i read things like this entry...and your response to my first comment. i am so concerned and when i get the urge to ask how you're doing i can't seem to help myself. i don't want to see you suffering...i know you are. i hate that. i know there's nothing i can do. i hate that too.

but again, i'm sorry. i'll try harder to stay out.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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*sigh* i honestly have no idea what to tell you....i need rum, pants, and a new coat................
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:16 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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tell me whatever you want. tell me the truth. tell me nothing. its up to you.

pants and new coat...fine. but rum? no. you know you don't really need it. but i won't let myself tell you what or what not to do. mostly because i know how it feels to think you need things like that...
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:21 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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i need pants because my pants arent tight enough. *inqusitive* that really doesnt make sense. but its time for THRIFT STORE SHOPIN! and i want one of those long coats that all the "hardcore" girls wear. the ones with the fur around the collar. i wore one the other day. its all comfortable and apparently looks good on me. or at least better than the girl whose car i snagged it out of(my guitarist). and yes i do need rum. it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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i'm going thrift store shopping tonight...for men's clothes. and for my guy friends to get girl's clothes. we're having a drag party tomorrow. there will be lots of warm and fuzziness inside me then. and also this afternoon i'll be flying high hopefully. plans are tentative.

i went thrift store shopping wednesday too. i got a new coat...its fur...i stole it. i shoplift now too. ::shrugs::
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:28 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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oh goodie. we both have destro-lives. super........*stabs self in face* this is fun.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:30 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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it is fun. its fun to kill slowly kill my braincells...my thoughts...myself. ::dances:: yippee. ::pops more pills::
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:32 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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it would seem we can do some kind of dance to bring about the appocalypse.....and we have.........
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:32 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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p.s.rum and coats :)
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:37 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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::dances in new coat::

i dont care for the taste of rum. especially coconut rum, like i had the last time i drank some rum. ick. i don't like coconut. i prefer vodka..and orange juice...screwdrivers...yummy. or really vodka and anything. hell, i like vodka with vodka. i'll drink whatevers around though. just not hennessy.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:39 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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i love my rum. i like to take lots of shots of rum. then once im spattered anyway, i drink a couple smirnoff ice to calm my tummy down. I. HATE. BEER. and vodka is over rated. its not that good. nope. *shakes head* ive grown to like burbon and dr pepper. it was tasty. i know because i stole jaxx. *slips off edge of chair* ouch.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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mmm...smirnoff is yummy...i like the twisted ice ones...green apple. mmm. i drink beer if its all that there is, but i HATE the taste so i chug it. i get drunk faster that way anyways.

lately though, i've been more into drugs than alcohol. i pass out too fast when i drink. i like to stay up and enjoy the loss of sanity that i get to experience on wonderful, wonderful drugs.

i really want a cigarette right now.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:47 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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drugs are bad mmkay? seriously. thats one stupid thing i wont drown in. fuckin drugs. im a lightweight drinker, but that makes it more affordable, and i have the good fortune of not passing out or throwing up. i couldnt even chug beer. its too gross. drugs are stupid...so yeah........i wish the party was tonight and the shopping tommorow. but sadly, i am poor and control nothing but my mind, sex drive, and bladder.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:52 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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yeah. drugs are stupid. but i do them anyway. i've seen some amazing, crazy things on drugs...the world is so much more beautiful.

i'm poor too, thats why dont pay for stuff...i steal it...and i save any money my mom gives me for food to spend on things other than food cause i dont eat. i wish the party im going to were tonight too. i can't control that either though...just my eating. i think thats the only thing i've got...my mind, sex drive and bladder...nope. i pee all the time. and im horny. and insane.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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on second thought. i am insane. so all ive got is sex drive. and really, i havent been horny in months. so that doesnt count. and i say bladder only cuz i dont piss myself or anything. i wont steal, cuz im baaaaddddd at it. plus, i dont want to steal anything. wait, is it stealing if i drink half of someones alcohol while theyre in the basement? my mum doesnt give me any money. so im more than broke. ive seen people die on drugs! yeah....i think that did it for me. maybe you should watch someone kill themself while youre high. sure itll scar you for life, but you wont want drugs anymore.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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::shrugs:: i don't really have a response to most of that.

and um, as far as the stealing someones drink thing, dont do it! its mean and evil! just kidding. i dont give a shit. i'm sure i've done it before.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 07:01 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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it was jetts. hahahahahaha....it was funny as hell. it was her birthday (as she reminded us every five minutes). it was great. she passed out downstairs, and i drank half her rum. she came upstairs and said "why is the rum gone?" and i about died of laughter. i saw a ghostie that night. it was actually rather creepy. me and ben broked the big couch and made a bed!!!!! :) its so much cooler now.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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fun.

i need to go get cigarettes now.

tata.

try to stay at least sort of safe.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 07:06 pm (UTC)

Re: i know its not my place...

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safety is over rated. im shooting more for. "ill try not to die." thats about the best i got right now. bye.
[User Picture Icon]
From:sleepsideways
Date:January 28th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
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its my fault.
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From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 08:39 pm (UTC)

I tore my pants...

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I am going shopping for new pants. And a coat... and rum.

P.S. no shit.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
how?
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC)

I don't think you need to know...

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it's a long story. and i personally dont feel like telling it to you of all people. isn't really your buisness is it? why do you insist on dredging up into my life? im leaving you alone as asked. dont make this some stupid two way thing.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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::dances::

i was right all along...
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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about what?
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:25 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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like you care
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:29 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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right. i dont feel like going through this little dance again. itll just be the same. dont even bother telling me. i dont know if you were right or not. and right now, im not interested in words from someone whose presence does not exist to me because that is what is asked.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:January 28th, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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ohh shut up. gah. would you please stop doing this... "that is what is asked."

stop putting all the fucking blame on me. you LIED to me. you know you did. don't try to deny it. You had someone else in your life who you treated almost exactly the same as you did me. It's like you had two of me or two of Rachael. Two little dolls to play with that didn't really know what was going on.

You hurt me an incredible amount. What the fuck did you expect to happen?
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:February 2nd, 2005 02:11 pm (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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im not going through these little circles again. bye.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lossofxbreath
Date:February 3rd, 2005 12:56 am (UTC)

Re: I don't think you need to know...

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bye
From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 28th, 2005 11:16 pm (UTC)
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Hey don't party too hard, but please DO have fun. Yup yup. foomage and all that.

Tak
From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 29th, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)

xanga

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hey, if you can't email me, check out my xanga site @ www.xanga.com/childoftheking89.

-kels
[User Picture Icon]
From:a_dark_park
Date:February 1st, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
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I hate to see you like this. But right now I don't know what to say.
[User Picture Icon]
From:starsandbones
Date:February 2nd, 2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
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"Bitch! Do you know who this is!??! This is Joey Fabio!!! You best stop callin. Shit nigga pleeeaaassseee! You better stop befo the tang monkey busts a cap in yo white ass!!!"
-Joey Fabio